That’s all. So the list of black days in my life continues. You know, sometimes I just don’t want to live. Just there is no need. Nothing holds me here: mom? Brother? …
I don’t know, maybe I’ll leave soon.. They tell the truth who is destined to die from a bullet will not die like a dog in a trash.. So maybe it is for the better. Do you just think that I ask you for something. No, it’s just that it’s easier for me to talk.. Remember, I told you that I never say certain words. I’m afraid to hurt. Yes, you are probably of those girls who love when they pronounce this phrase: I will not say it so simple.
Now you are somewhere far from me. I don’t know where, but for me it is on the edge of the earth: it hurts me: it hurts to see your face: I look at the photo, God.. I can’t tell you everything that someone else would say in my place.. Maybe I don’t know how to speak beautifully, but I hope that you will forgive me. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Words cannot be cut off with an ax. Let these words be next to you. I am aware of what I’m doing now. What I’m going to say. It is a pity that I do not see your eyes, but you, apparently, just don’t want to see me.
I spoke these words only a few times in my life. I think that after you leave me, I will never say them anymore: I don’t cry, I just can’t know this: maybe it is worth learning to learn? Maybe it will become easier for me? From the fact that you left: I could not tell you before. I’m not standing at a dead end now. And you can not pay any attention to my words, you can forget them if you want. You just can not answer me. Just become more painful for another person on earth. I will not need to live. For whom? For whom all this? I met a wonderful girl. Her name is more beautiful than any music in my heart. Kid, maybe you don’t know me at all. Maybe for you all this is just a game. I don’t think you are amused by what is going on in my battered and wounded soul. I did not tell anyone about myself than you. Even my ex -husband does not know everything that you know about my life.
In fact, I do not want to say at all. Without you, my life becomes meaningless. Without your smile, I can’t start a new day. If I do not see you, then the day becomes gloomy and bleak. I don’t know how I will live without you. When you leave, I, most likely, will not want to stay alone anymore: I have enough of the darkness and fear that I have in my soul. May your choice and your decision do not depend on the words that I will say now.
Kid, I love you. I really love you no matter what.
I LOVE YOU!!
Leave a Reply